THE FIRST ANSWER ISN’T ALWAYS THE RIGHT ONE


Hello and welcome to another episode
of Essential Healing. I’m your host on Pedic coming at you
after just recently coming off the road my daughter and I earlier
this last weekend, I took a road trip. We did a three -day road
trip and it was really really something that I enjoyed
neither one of our kids live at home anymore and I just so miss
you know both of them and having the time to you know just
sit and talk and connect and and all those types of things and
so you know she had to make a road trip and I you I had the opportunity
to go with her and like I said, I just thoroughly enjoyed
it just having the time to connect and just really sit and
just talk and and everything and it was interesting because we
were having a conversation about someone and you know she would
and I I I she was telling me about you know some of the things
that she was was seeing or observing in what this person was
saying and doing and I I sort of added a few. Like a few quick
judgements or what my perceptions were about who this
person was, and it wasn’t the first time and that we had had a
similar discussion about the same person and she turned to me
and said mom. I don’t know what you’ve heard from other people
or I don’t know what you might seem to think about this person,
but I don’t agree like I don’t. I don’t feel the same way
I don’t see that and in that moment I you know, I realized that
she was basically telling me that I was being really narrow minded.
with my perspective in my view points and and I also was
like in that moment, too, I just it was the realization hit
me like it’s so wonderful when our kids become our teachers right.
It’s like a double-edge sword or you know. Bittersweet type
of scenario, but I thought about it later later and I realized
just how how how right she was about that and that you know
I had in in the very few times that I had met this person. I made
some quick judgments. I made an assessment of you know where
I thought the person was at and then put it into you know categories
in my mind that were labels. Put on them about their
behavior about you know what what their beliefs might be or who
they were as a person and we talked about it in a SEC and I talked
about it a little bit more, she said. You know, I I take
the experiences that I have with people and I take them into
consideration, she said. But I try to be open to the the reality
that I might not be meeting someone when they’re their best.
Forms of themselves and that she goes because none of us are
always a hundred percent. our best selves every single time we
go to meet someone else. we might be going through something
we might be. you know feeling angrier. We might just have had
a loss in our life or you know we might just not be the best versions
of ourselves right then, but that doesn’t necessarily mean
that’s who we are and and as I’m talking about this it it’s just.
It it’s amazing. how you know again like I’m almost wanting
to say I feel really ashamed that I even did that. I even said
that or even was you know that I even categorize things so
quickly because I’m usually the first one to try to encourage
other people to be more open minded and not always you know and
and and not always just you know I think that we either know.
Or that that there might be some other reason why we’re looking
at something a certain way and sometimes we have to look a
little deeper into that. But I think that it’s that to a certain
degree that it’s natural that we do that you know we’re designed
to make quick quick judgements of things were were designed
to make assessments and then store that information for
later so that we can pull it back up and you know, use it to
to move forward. In that situation, the next time it just
it’s kinda like a time management thing. It’s a proficiency
thing. It’s something that helps keep us safe. I think that
what we have to realize is that we can use our bait basic instincts
to make quick judgments that that’s okay that
it’s okay for us to to rely on those instincts, but that we also
have to be aware at the same time that there also might be more
to the story that that we can actually analyze and assess
and categorize but stay open at the same time and I. That if I were
to boil that down into a mindset that I would say that the
answer is that the principal here is that the first answer isn’t
always the right one. That we can take the information that
we learn when we first meet someone and use that as our as our
first experience but again, I know that there might be more.
you know that there might be something else there that we haven’t
seen before and we shouldn’t just stay focused and
closed minded and think that’s the only one that we maybe have
to consider that that’s who that person was or that that’s the
way a situation is right now, but that it might not always
be. That there might be something else possible there and
and to consider it now I think in order to do that what we
have to do is move ourselves into an internal space of curiosity
that you can look at things you can look at people. you can
look at behaviors. you can look at their actions. The things that
they say you can look at situations and assess it. But also
at the same time, be curious about it almost like going into
it looking at it going huh. That’s interesting. I see this and
I wonder what else might be there like I wonder what else might
be possible. so it’s both it doesn’t have to be one or the
other. It doesn’t have to be something where a situation is black
and White, and it doesn’t also and it also doesn’t have to
be where you’re just completely open, You know because.
Those are the situations where when we leave ourselves completely
open, then sometimes we feel vulnerable, you know, especially
for those of us who have experienced abuse. We don’t
wanna leave ourselves open because that’s what you know because
then we feel like we’re gonna be vulnerable to be hurt or
abused again. So what we can do is do a little bit of both. We
can use discernment and we can be curious. we can set boundaries
and we can be open both at the same time. Today, I invite
you to set your intention to notice. maybe when you’re thinking
you’re using black and White thinking when you’re judging someone
else and just be open to what else might be possible because
you never know they might surprise you. you might realize
that there’s something else there now if you’re feeling like.
You have a hard time with that, like you have a hard time
being open or you feel like you have a hard time of letting go of
certain judgments, a certain beliefs and certain thoughts. then
I invite you to reach out to me. I have some tools that can help
you to transform some of those negative or stuck emotions
and you can do that by visiting my website at Don Pettit
dot com and booking setting up an appointment with me. I hold
some space in my. Each week to chat with folks to see about
where you might be stuck and talk about how we can help move
you forward. so until then or until next time, Thank you so much
for joining me on this healing journey today and I hope
you have a great day.

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