Outrage Court – Trigger Warnings: The Daily Show


Let’s, uh…
let’s talk about college. Now, back in the day, college
was all about crazy fun stuff, you know, like keg stands
and butt chugging and wet T-shirt contests. And that was just me
and my roommate Brian. Uh, but, these days,
colleges are more sensitive, more informed.
They have more diverse voices, and they encourage these voices
with safe spaces, you know, like a Black Student
Union Association or Hillel. And-and now some professors
are offering trigger warnings for topics
that might upset students. The question is,
are we going too far? What’s more important,
free speech or the right of our classmates
not to be offended? There’s really only one place
to resolve this. We do it in Outrage Court. -♪ ♪ -ANNOUNCER:
When a small controversy sparks
an Internet firestorm,
it’s up to Judge Roy
to sort the justified
from the just straight trippy.
It all happens now
on
Outrage Court.Today onOutrage Court,
free speech on campus.
Desi Lydic thinks safe spaces
and trigger warnings
are necessary
to foster minority voices
and protect
against hate speech.
Jordan Klepper thinks
college kids are pussies.
Huge. All rise for the honorable
Judge Roy Wood, Jr. Yeah. Sit y’all asses down. All right,
let’s get down to the get down. What in the goddamn
is a safe space? Desi, you have the floor. Picture this, Your Honor,
you’re a minority. -I’ll allow it. -Every day,
you face discrimination, hate speech, microaggressions– not the shouty, angry,
Mel Gibson-y kind but a consistent undercurrent
of white noise. Let’s just call it
whites only noise. These colleges are just trying
to create spaces where you and your fellow students
can be free from all of that. I get it. So racism is like
a nagging wife, and safe spaces are like
the downstairs bathroom that I go to
to get away from her. Excellent example, Your Honor. Also a great microaggression
against me as a woman. Compliment sustained. -Jordan, what’s your problem
with this? -That’s not… Your Honor, safe spaces
are nothing but an attempt to shut down free speech. College is a time
to face stuff you don’t like, like Hacky Sack, butt chuggers
and white-boy dreadlocks. If I cut myself off
from all the bigots I know, I wouldn’t have
any friends left. (laughing): I’d be left
playing tennis all by myself. There are no safe spaces
in the real world. These colleges are softening
these kids up, like an overripe avocado, when they should be hard
and tough like a proper avocado. Mmm. Bitter… like reality. That (bleep) is nasty. Put it down. LYDIC: Policies like this
make minorities feel encouraged and validated
when it comes to free speech. I mean, I’ll just say me,
as a woman– -I mean, I can hardly get a word
in with… -KLEPPER: Oh! What is she even talking about?! We haven’t talked
about trigger warnings yet. Did you know there are students
who won’t go into classrooms ’cause they are afraid
the lectures will upset them? How are we supposed
to teach these students without frightening them? Like, what’s history class
going to be? Some little fish crawled up
on the land, some stuff happens, Nixon, and then here we are? College students
just want an experience that’s free
from emotional trauma, like seeing a white guy dress up
as Stevie Wonder for Halloween. That costume is a hit
every single year, and no blind person
has ever complained about it. LYDIC:
My point is it’s not limiting free speech to raise awareness
for microaggressions. (muffled laugh) “Microaggressions” sound like
when a Hobbit keys your car. (laughing):
Right, right. Or like an ingredient
in a body wash. -Yeah.
-KLEPPER: Or a… A… (Klepper laughs) No, but my point is, just because something has a
ridiculous new name doesn’t mean that it’s not real. Like Benedict Cumberbatch. Ridiculous name, 100% real. I see what you’re asking for,
Counselor. From now on, microaggressions
will be referred to as “Cumberbatches.” Wait. No, that wasn’t my point. -Damn, you just got
Cumberbatched. -Oh, my God. All right, you’ve both made
compelling arguments. I’ve reached a verdict. Jordan, you’re right. The
college kid should grow a pair. If our kids grow up thinking
the world is safe spaces and trigger warnings,
then, hell, how are we gonna
protect ourselves from Russia? Hell, how are we gonna
stand up to Jamaica? All they do is come in here
triggering us with their damn reggae
and their ganja and their jerk chicken. -You seen the Jamaican dancing?
-Frightening. But Desi, you’re right. Everybody’s entitled
to an education where their roommate
isn’t trying to touch their damn hair
all the time. The solution here is obvious. I’m banning all college. It’s a waste of time. You think I went to college
to be a judge? I think you have to. -You didn’t go to college?
-No. I just bought this on eBay, man. I got this robe from my pastor.
Court adjourned. Get the (bleep) out.
Just go on. Bitch, I’m the judge.

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