Getting Over The Fear Of Judgement When Starting A Business? (WATCH THIS!)

I know you’re here because you want to get
over your fear of judgment once and for all so you can finally start your online business. Well, let me tell you that in this video we’re
going to go over the seven key ways that you can implement right now, so you can finally
get over your fears, and call bullshit on your self limiting beliefs, so you can finally
show up online as your true self. What is up, guys? Welcome back to my channel. If you’re new here, welcome, and if you want
to learn more about how you can create a life on your own terms then next week I’ll be posting
a video about how you can make money online with your passion. So, if you don’t want to miss anything, start
by clicking the bell button. Tip number one is create a power pose. So, you’re probably like, what is a power
pose? What does this even mean? Well, I didn’t actually know, or think that
this was an actual term that was invented by someone because when I was terrified of
exposing myself online, and starting my business, what I would do is just stand in front of
the mirror in my bathroom with feet width hips width distance apart. And I would just create affirmations to myself,
and positive affirmations like I am in full control of my decisions, and I don’t let anyone
influence my actions. This would definitely increase my confidence. However, as I Googled this, this is an actual
term invented by someone called Amy Cuddy all the way back in 2012, and she suggested
that our body language governs how we think and feel about ourselves. And so, how we hold our bodies can have an
impact in our minds. In other words, by commanding a powerful stance,
we can make ourselves actually feel more powerful. And this is true per my experience. However, if you do look up articles online,
there’s a bunch of articles that refute this idea because there’s not enough evidence. However, I did find a graph that was very
interesting. I think it was research done by Harvard University,
and the Association of Psychological Science that showed that there was a change in testosterone,
and cortisol after just two minutes of power pose. So, that’s interesting. And also, I just compiled just some funny
images of what power posing can look like. So, it’s really up to you what you want to
do. However, if you just look at yourself in the
mirror with just a normal stance, just kind of a strong, command-itative stance if that’s
a word, you will find and create affirmations. You will find that this does definitely boost
your confidence. Now, the key here is that while you are standing
in this power pose, you want to create affirmations to yourself, and actually talk to yourself. So, what you want to do is, for example, an
affirmation might be I am in full control of my life, and I never allow anyone to influence
my decisions. What you want to do is repeat that to yourself
while you’re in this power pose. While you’re looking at yourself in the mirror
in the first five breaths that you take, and then when you close your eyes, you want to
repeat that in your mind so it keeps reinforcing to your subconscious while in a slight meditative
state that you truly believe these things to be true. So, you want to come up with positive affirmations
that are going to help you boost your confidence. Tip number two is stop judging yourself and
others. Have you heard the sentence treat yourself
like you would like others to treat you? Well, you need to do the same. How do you want other people not to judge
you if you are constantly judging yourself, and you’re also judging others? So, you really need to pay attention to that,
and give permission to yourself to love yourself a little bit more, to not be so hard on yourself
because what happens is when you are so hard on yourself, you’re going down this negative,
downward spiral. And then you end up just completely self sabotaging
yourself. So, let’s do an example. When I first wanted to start my business,
I was terrified of what people were going to say because I thought people were going
to be like, well, here’s another blogger. Well, here’s another wanna-be influencer. Hmm, well, here’s another wanna-be whatever,
right? But what I realized is by doing this exercise,
I put everything down on the paper, and I said I’m scared of this, this, this, this. And I said, actually, this is not true, right? Like, I have this qualification. I have this knowledge. I’m able to do this because I’ve done X, Y,
Z. So, hopefully, with this exercise it’s going
to help you realize, like, actually I do have the qualifications. Actually, I do have the knowledge. Actually, I do have the experience. And those are just the stupid, self limiting
beliefs that are just preventing me from actually living my truest fulfilling life. After, I want you to think about when was
the last time you judged someone. Was it unfair? Did you give them the benefit of the doubt? Could you have been a little kinder, and not
judged them in that way? Because if you want others to stop judging
you then you need to take a step back, and actually say, okay, maybe I shouldn’t judge
these people because I wouldn’t like that to be done to me. I want you to embrace your flaws, embrace
your weaknesses, embrace your strengths, embrace it all, and finally, stop over-analyzing everything
you’re doing. Because when people judge you, it’s usually
just a reflection of where they are in life right now, and it’s a reflection of where
they want to be. So, maybe they’re envious because they see
there’s so much potential in you. Maybe they are envious because they wished
they had the ability to go out, and start their business online. Maybe they wish they had the courage, the
strength, and the confidence to go out there, and put themselves online. So, just remember that, and also remember
that when you are perhaps judging other people to consider that you wouldn’t like them to
do it to you. And just take a breather, and stop yourself
from going any further. Tip number three is to understand that judgment
is simply unavoidable. And I know it’s hard to hear that, but it’s
true. So, if you want to build a business, and you
want to achieve your dreams, and you want to be financially independent, which means
building a business, and being an entrepreneur then you need to realize, and recognize that
people will judge you no matter what. And especially if you’re building a business,
and a personal brand then you’re probably going to stand for a specific cause. People might not agree. Not everyone will agree with your specific
cause. Not everyone’s going to agree with you, and
that’s fine. Those that don’t agree with you will just
be left behind, and will go somewhere else, and the people that love you will stay in
your tribe, and you do want them to stay in your tribe. You don’t want the people that don’t want
to be with you, right? You want to eliminate those negative people
from your life because they’re just going to do you no good. Something you need to understand is that you’re
not here on this Earth to please everyone. You’re not. So, people are going to like you. People are not going to like you. And I think one thing that really has helped
me with this is just to realize, okay, what’s the worst thing that could actually happen
if somebody says something? Like, what is really the worst thing that
can happen is a simple comment on one of your posts, or a simple comment on one of your
videos, or whatever media you’re using to kind of expose yourself. What is the worst thing that can happen? Which leads me to tip number four, to stop
focusing on the worst possible outcomes. This is something that a lot of people face,
myself included. And we’re just automatically when something
… when we’re starting something that’s outside of our comfort zones, when it’s something
that doesn’t come naturally or easily to you, we are naturally just kind of stray away from
it. And like, oh my God, what’s going to happen
if I fail? What if the video doesn’t do well? What if the post doesn’t get any comments? What are people going to say about X, Y, Z? And what you need to understand, again, is
that what is the worst case scenario? There is no worst case scenario with this
because those feelings are all natural, and fine because what you need to understand is
if you didn’t feel these things then that would mean that you just didn’t really care
about starting your business online. But what you do need to realize is this: our
brains are hardwired for negative thinking. This is called negativity bias, and what it
is is this: the brain reacts more strongly to stimuli it deems negative. There is a greater surge in electrical activity,
thus our attitudes are more heavily influenced by downbeat news than good news. So, what can I do to finally overcome this? Well, you have two options. The first one is rationalize your fear, and
end up self sabotaging yourself completely, and then end up completely paralyzed and not
do anything about it. And just end up not actually taking the leap
that you’re meant to, the change that’s calling you for you to do, and actually go and start
your business, and be bold and be brave. Or you can actually talk yourself out of those
fears, and say, okay, actually, these aren’t true. It’s never happened. It hasn’t even happened because, if you didn’t
know, we are only born with two fears. First is fear of loud noises, and second is
the fear of failing. So, as you can see, these other fears that
you have of judgment, of this and that, is all created by your environment, by the media,
by your friends, by the people you surround with, by social media, by all these things. And actually, these fears can be unlearned. It can be reverted. So, why don’t you realize and say this? Well, I’m fearful of this, so I’m actually
on the edge of change. I’m on the edge of going for my best life. I’m on the edge of pursuing what I’ve always
wanted, to start a business, to create the life that I actually want. Tip number five is to finally stop chasing
approval from others. Because if you’re scared of judgment then
there’s a part of you that’s saying, well, I need approval from this person in order
to finally start my business. I need to make sure that X, Y, Z are in accordance
with this. When actually, that’s not true. You don’t need to seek validation from other
people because it’s your life. You don’t owe anybody an explanation. You, yourself, know yourself. You, yourself … you’re the only person that
can judge this. And you’re the only person that can make decisions
for yourself because you know yourself best. So, nobody else can make that decision for
you. Instead of convincing and seeking approval
from other people, and convincing other people that this is the right path for you, and trying
to prove to them, and show to them the reasons why you should pursue this specific path by
starting a business then what you need to ask yourself is why am I seeking this approval? Do I lack something right now that I don’t
have? Is there something that I need that’s missing
right now that I need in order to pursue this path? What is the permission that I need? Tip number six: hang out with people that
will help you grow. I know this may sound cliché, but it’s true. You are the sum of the handful of people that
you hangout with, and if you’re already thinking of someone that’s coming to your mind that
you’re like, this person doesn’t bring me any good. This person only brings me negativity. This person always judges what I have to say. This person always tries to bring me down. Okay, then you seriously need to detach yourself
from this person. And I don’t mean just completely remove them
from your life, but maybe just take a break. And say, listen, this is what I have to do. This is for myself. And, well, we’ll talk when we need to talk
later on when you’re willing to understand me, and understand my reasons, and understand
why I’m doing this thing for myself. Tip number seven: identify how your fears
are just holding you back. So, I want you to make a list of all the things
that you could be accomplishing right now if your fears just weren’t in the way. Because what you’re going to end up seeing
is that it’s ridiculous that you’re not … you’re preventing your success because of other people’s
judgments that haven’t even happened yet. So, you’re going to really realize that, okay,
this is ridiculous. I shouldn’t prevent myself from not starting
my business. I shouldn’t prevent myself from exposing myself
online when you know deep down inside that you can do this, that you are called to start
a business, that you want to spread your message online. But you’re just scared of what other people
might think. And realize that these other people you may
not even know. These people might not even be part of your
group of friends. These people might be strangers on the internet. So, you’re caring so much about this opinion
of someone who you have no clue who they are. And you might end up having some really big
realizations. Now, I want to hear from you. Tell me which tip resonated with you the most,
and let me know if you have any other tips that you have implemented that has helped
you overcome this because I know it’s very hard. And I know a lot of people go through this,
myself included. I know it’s very tough. As always, thank you so much for watching,
and I hope to see you in the next one. Sending you big love. Bye, guys.

4 Responses

  1. Samantha Rosso says:

    Thank you for watching! Tell me, which tip resonated with you the most and why?

  2. Vanessa Lau says:

    LOVE THIS!!!! Your confidence is unreal!!!!

  3. Cherie Paw says:

    I believe in this

  4. Renae O'Neill - Embracing the Natural Life says:

    Love your video's! So much knowledge and value in what you share x

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