DELIT DE FUITE – le Justicier de Noël


Warning! The sole purpose of this video… … is to show you what you should not do. Not stopping after hitting someone is a felony. The purpose of retrieving… … the vehicle’s identification number… … is to identify the owner, not the person… … actually behind the wheel. It is therefore mandatory to immediately arrest the driver. We were shooting a video… … to make people laugh. Fate chose otherwise. “A nice peaceful afternoon,” said Chris RS. Hi!
[People amused] Hi, my friend!! Hey, hey, hey… Ugh, fuck… OH FUCK It’s ok Sorry red-light, sorry! Oh, la la la!! [Driver] Block her! Block her! HEY!
[Driver] STOP! Right there!
[Cyclist] What the hell?! Holy shit ! I have to calm her… Hey, hey, hey… [relax gesture]. Alright now, slow down… Slow down. Stop, it’s gonna be OK. You have to stop. You have to stop. It’s over, now… That’s it. Calm down. Shut down the engine… [Driver] HEY, HEY, HEY!
Aaah… Aah… what a bitch ! [Reading license plate out loud] BR-966-MG STOP IT ! [Spotting police] Oh, yeah… Let’s catch them ! SIR, SIR! There’s a car that just hit someone and she’s… … trying to escape! It’s the, um… it’s the… It’s a Clio Wait…no [talking about a black Twingo, similar vehicle] Wait…no [talking about a black Twingo, similar vehicle] [Officer] That one, over there?!
No. No ! [Police] There she is, over here!! [Biker] There ! There ! [french version of repeating “oh dear, oh dear…”] Oops ! Oh, shit…
Oh sh** Oh sh** [Police officer] Don’t move ! Open the door ! [Police officer] Show me your hands ! [Police officer] Get up ! [Handcuffing] [Driver] She almost hit you! [Biker] I tried to calm her by doing this… [Driver] What’s her problem ? [Biker] Well, for a start she didn’t even see the guy (the victim). [Driver] Look at the windshield [Biker] Yeah, it’s exploded [Officer] Where’s the victim? [assuming it’s another biker] No, no. It’s somebody, on Rivoli street… … who was crossing the pedestrian walk… [Officer] Yeah?
[Biker] … and um… [Driver] On Rivoli ! [Officer] She ran him over ?! Yeah, he was projected. Look at the windshield. Did he hit you or something ? [Officer] No, no. I dropped it to make the arrest. [Bystander talking to the officer] [Officer] She ran someone over [Officer + Biker] Did you see the windshield, there?
[Biker, insisting] Yes, the guy flew… [Officer] You’re going to tell me where he is [Driver] Hey, be careful… your cell-phone.
Yeah… [Driver] You filmed her anyway, right ?
Ha! I’ve got everything ! At first, I tried knocking on the glass but it’s not the right way… … for her to stop, so after… I did this [showing gesture] to make her try to, you know… Then, I saw them [the police] so I went to see them, directly. Damn… [Driver] The victim is down right now… [Driver] You saw the victim flying?
Yeah, I mean… the windshield… At least you have to follow me now?! Haha! What an asshole… [Police radio] I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She’s weird, uh? Yeah, they were all crossing… … and she drove… … right through the middle, between them, like so. [Bystander] “Santa Claus to the rescue!” That would be a great selfie, seriously! Hahaha! [People] Oh, yeah!
[Woman] Oh, you are beautiful! [People in the crowd are amused by the strange situation] [Officer] So, the colleagues are on the way [other officers]… … and they’re going to take your ID and your statement. Do you mind, sir?
[Driver] No. [Police radio] In fact, since I filmed… … the scene… They’re actually escorting me, for real… Ha! Unlike the last time when… uuh, that was a bit “edgy”. But, now… All I need now is a revolving light Well, that’s ideal for a “Paris by night”, huh? Haha! I really hope the person is alright [the victim] because… It’s an old person, holding a cane. So, yeah… I even make the signs [Like the officer in front of him] See? Even with police lights… … it’s difficult to… … to drive in Paris. And it’s going to get worse where we’re heading. So, yeah… I wanted to be a cop before… … and um, it was a great deception for me… … because it was a great deception, um… I failed the entrance exam. Yep! Because back in the day… …well, even now actually… …I wasn’t very good at school… … doing the minimum, every time. But it’s true that I failed the exam. There was a written composition, I failed the composition. Apart from that, I think I would have liked being a cop. So…here it is. So, thanks to being a biker… … and what can happen in Paris… … here we are like… One percent… … a small percent. [Girl] Woo-hoo, not bad! Thanks! Haha! Well… … that’s cool, huh? Here I am at the Forum des Halles [huge mall] under police escort, huh?… damn… Some days, you wake up… … you wouldn’t have imagined this. I didn’t… actually wake up… … thinking I would do this with my Santa Claus costume. [Women Officer] Hi! Oh! It’s for the hit and run? Well they can park here.

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